Foolproof Pumpkin Cultivating 101:
Step 1:
Collect a nice mature pumpkin (or two) a couple of weeks prior to Halloween with the intent to either cook or carve it and leave it on the counter to remind yourself that you are going to put that orange beast to good use.
When you realize this is not the best place to store a pumpkin because it is rather warm, move it to a covered porch or somewhere you presume it won't freeze for a while.
(You can skip this step if you had the hindsight to leave it out on the porch/front deck until you notice frost.)
Step 2:
Notice the pumpkin you left outside by the front door to carve got a few days of frost and is pretty saggy.
At this point be sure to praise yourself for leaving the other pumpkin in the covered but not heated porch and carry on with your day.
Step 3:
Once you notice that the covered pumpkin has indeed frozen and your plan to put it to good use was a waste of brain power, move all pumpkins to your garden patch to become compost.
Do yourself a favor and forget that you are a horrible pumpkin guardian and continue to dream of spring and the glorious garden you will plant once the ground is un-frozen!
Step 4:
Ignore the ugly decomposing pumpkin(s) sitting in your garden until you are able to work the soil.
Once soil is no longer frozen turn it all under and wait until the last frost to plant something in your now pumpkin compost garden and keep the soil moist.
Wait until you can distinguish your baby produce from weeds before weeding.
Step 5:
It has now been a couple of months since you tilled the land and you should have forgotten about the poor abused pumpkin that became compost.
Continue to water and weed your garden as you normally would until....
Wait....that is not a weed, or what you intended to grow....
Why does it look like a baby squash plant, you didn't plant those here......Wait...What?!?
Pumpkin children from your poor neglected pumpkin of last year's harvest are growing!!!
It's the earliest you have ever planted a pumpkin and you didn't even realize you did it!
Congratulations!
Well I know both I and Mr.Dirty forgot about them and were pleasantly surprised
(ECSTATIC!)
to have pumpkins in the ground earlier than ever before,
a lot of pumpkins!
In among our lettuce, in a giant clump....We have some transplanting to do...
*Disclaimer*
*a porch or deck is not required, but forgetfulness is!*
*just don't forget to water your garden*
H.M.K.
